Friday, July 23, 2010

Gregory Suede


Gregory Suede

Gregory suede original inventor of the BluBlocker

what can you say about Gregory suede that wouldn't sound like an exaggerated fib

but in all truth he's a kind man, somewhat of an alcoholic and marijuana abuser, but still always carries a kind word for anyone passing by. He lives in the Bahamas, you all know where.
he lives in a private loft/villa style house by the point of the beach, lots of windows.

you see Mr. Suede believes in voyeurism and exhibitionism.. He "lets it all into his life." as he is often quoted as saying.

That may be one reason he rarely wears any kind of shirt ... No usually you'll see him in short shorts, a beach hat, some slip on's some crazy funky necklace and his signature blublockers.
he loves those things
in fact he never removes them.
the only thing he loves more then his blublockers is his manly bear beard that he strokes when in deep contemplation.
no one lives near him .. his land is rather large. its for the best anyway he plays loud 80's and techno music and plays that darn didgeridoo of his.
you see him at the local bar .. the crocodile tub.. its a martini bar for tourist but he's always there, martini or scotch in hand.
you know they let him smoke his weed inside now !
talk about a good customer



you also see him walking in town, no shirt on.. buying food or premium beer, charming the tourists.. he's rather well spoken, reserved in words but each sentence that comes out of his mouth has been magnificently gilded and delivered with precision.

He's quite rich, but lives relatively cheap, save for the extravagant expense here and there

Mr. Suede barely works, a couple phone calls and emails a day and the business is settled

a hearty breakfast and a cup of the finest Colombian java and his work is done before the Sunrises and when it does the cling of ice cubes on a glass or the spark of a match is soon to follow

His favorite hobby though (besides drinking, flirting and dancing) is hacky sac and surfing.. he'll spend dawn to dusk at the beach surfing and hackying.. usually welcomes the sun rise with some vintage bottle he's acquired. It would not be so wrong to call Mr. Suede a bottle collector he has some f the finest scotches and whiskeys from around the world, the problem is those bottle rarely stay full for long. he'll have a drink with the sun rise and hack the sac, all while holding his drink in one hand.. some have even witnessed him surfing with a drink in hand. The only thing harder to get out of his hand is those blublockers.

Mr. Suede is always having a good time.

you really have to be able to enjoy your own company if you can have dance parties at your mansion by yourself.. and we all know that with a drop of a hat his home would overflow with people for one of his famous parties.
I even heard that that Pegasus Valentine guy.. the rich socialite from Amsterdam comes to his parties.

i think one year someone got him some socks and shirts for his birthday as a joke and he used the socks as a head band and the shirt as a capes.. there are times when Mr. Suede is obliged to wear a shirt, when he goes on a business trip or some such thing.. but the most buttons anyone has every seen button on him has been 4, i heard it was on a skip trip in the alps
when he goes to a fashion show in a big city, another one of his pastimes, he'll button 1 or 2.. you can see how important Mr.Suede finds an occasion n the mainland by the number of buttons he's got buttoned

oh boy you hear how crazy it gets when he gets off that island and goes to rave in the big cities.. i heard shit gets wild.. it's a rare occasion but when you hear Gregory Suede's going be at a party or festival rave thing then you make sure to go to that party.
and you can always spot him out.. he'll be wearing his blublockers, a little hat, a big beard and a drink and or thin joint in his hand. He'll be dancing away a storm or chatting up the bartender girls, because they're the hardest ones to flirt with apparently, he always leaves the party with the prettiest and most interesting looking girls. Mr. Suede once said that the most attractive women are the one's that are trying something different.

he has an air of joyful nonchalance.. like everything is going perfectly well and will continue on forever

he's shared a number of drinks and doobs with the strangest people, celebrities, rock stars, his mail man, Muammar Gaddafi, he got high with the cheerleaders and mascot of the New England Patriots and it was caught on camera! Mr. Suede could convince anyone to relax, have a drink or a smoke and just "enjoy it all."


"would you care to Puff a Piff" he always says

oh man he's enjoying life that Gregory Suede .. if you're looking to relax then take a chapter out of his book and enjoy a summers day , no shirts aloud, sunglasses a must, good music, a good substance at hand, short shorts, comfortable shoes and a stroll through the neighborhood

As Gregory Suede would say " The world is just one big party, don't be afraid to have fun"



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